Why are we drawn to some people and not to others? Why do we instantly feel comfortable with someone we’ve just met or never comfortable with someone we have known for decades? Why are we clamoring to get close to one person and perpetually backing up from another?
Chemistry sure is a curious thing.
Let’s take a look at the chemistry with three guys I flirted with in the past week.
Zach, the 22-year-old. Yes, you read that right. He didn’t disappear after my drunk girls' night out a few weeks ago. He was very direct about wanting to see me again, meaning come to my apartment and fool around. Well, I have no other prospects on the horizon, so why not indulge in an emotion-free hook up? He walked into my apartment, and with hardly a hello the making out commenced. Shit, he was so sexy. How does a guy born in 1992 have those kind of moves?! (But I stuck to my annoying No Sex Until We're Dating rule.) Post-orgasms, we were so impressed with ourselves that we actually high-fived. He literally was in my apartment for 35 minutes. What little I saw of his [irrelevant in this situation] personality, he seemed fine, but damn for that physical chemistry.
Chris, who I met through Tinder [yes, I'm trying Tinder!]. I met him for a non-date on Friday. He was smart, polite, nicely dressed, and gainfully employed with a passion for music. Oh and he had an accent for God’s sake! Sounds pretty much perfect, right? We had a very nice time together, and I could feel his interest in me and I just… didn’t. I had no desire to kiss him. I started off flirty, and I could feel myself turning off my (attempt at) charm. He texted me when he got home saying he enjoyed meeting me. I said thank you again for the drinks. He responded saying he’d like to get together again if I were up for it. I didn’t answer, and my fingers are crossed that I don’t hear from him again. I don’t want to tell him I don’t feel the chemistry, because what a bummer!
The 26-year-old who is now 27, so I guess he should have a name: Sean. I ran into him after my non-date, and he’s been booty texting me. He’s still deleted from my phone, but he’s so tempting. There’s a playful sexuality that is exciting with him, even though he's not the best hookup I've had post-divorce.
|This sums up Jason and me perfectly!|
But the most fascinating person when it comes to chemistry is Jason. No, I’m not talking to him (much to the relief of my friends, particularly Nora and Ali), but when it comes to pure physical chemistry Jason is the winner. But why?! He’s OK looking, but nothing great. Hell, I don’t particularly like him. But OMG, the attraction between us is wild. It truly baffles me. I could see Aaron or Todd, both excellent hookups and both have better looks, personalities, and jobs, but I don’t think I’d have any desire for them anymore. Whereas with Jason, I don’t think I can be near him without wanting to at least kiss him, if not have Incredible Sex. I don’t need porn because I can just think about him!
So now if I could just find a guy who:
- is as smart and put-together as Chris
- with the sex appeal of Zach
- with the playfulness of Sean
- with the insane orgasm delivery of Jason
Have you had these chemistry mysteries? Any fun or disappointing experiments?