Want to Know Why You Have to Log In With Facebook?

Dear reader,

If you’re a returning reader of my blog, I love you!, and allow me to explain the new Facebook login.

As you might remember, I have had some issues in the past with people from my real life – and I’m not talking selected friends and family–  reading my blog. While this is certainly flattering, it also makes me very self-conscious.

The reason why I love blogging is because I don’t hold back. I have shared everything from my raw post-divorce pain to my first sex (finally!) to getting dumped (more than once!). For me to write freely about my life and the lessons I’m trying so hard to learn, I can’t be worrying about what others think. I need to write for me, and it’s a huge bonus if you read what I write and even more awesome if you connect to my words.

This is an icky way to feel when writing about
really personal crap.

The past few months, I have gotten word again that people who know me – but I don’t necessarily know them – are reading my blog. It's a mind fuck; this feels like a cross between being someone walking in on you masturbating and getting caught crying when you thought no one could hear you.

These are not people I would talk to about heartbreak or orgasms in real life, so I am not comfortable with those people reading my blog. 

Lucky for me, I have a genius programmer friend who would be an amazing criminal if he weren’t an upstanding guy. He has been super supportive of my writing and this blog. When I told him how upset I was about the situation and that I was considering pulling the plug on my blog, he wouldn’t have it. Instead, he came up with this great solution: require a Facebook login simply so I can know who’s stopping by my blog. If there are visitors that I’m not comfortable with, I can talk to them directly. He built it, and here we are! (I told you I have awesome friends.)

So, this is why you are now being asked to log in with your Facebook account. 

To be clear:

• I will never friend you
• I will never post anything on your wall
• I will never invite you to play Candy Crush with me (is that what people are playing?)

I know it’s annoying to log in, but know how much I appreciate your readership and comments, so I hope you will stay with me despite this extra login step.

Have any questions or concerns about logging in? Leave them in the comments and either I or my genius friend will respond.

Love, 

Kat 

What Should A Blogger Do When Her Identity is Revealed?

Confession: My real name isn’t Divorced Kat. 

My ex-husband’s name isn’t Max. 

The town I live in is not Ford. 

And pretty much every name I’ve ever mentioned has been a false one.

When I started this blog, it was with Max’s knowledge. He didn’t like that I was going to write about something having to do with him, but he knew he couldn’t stop me. But, he made one thing very clear:

This blog must not get traced back to me.

Sure, there’s my privacy at stake, but I’m the one taking risks by writing about everything from my years of pain and rejection in my marriage to post-divorce sex and masturbation to not being a mom. I guess you could say it’s a risk I’ve been willing to take for the sake of my own healing process and moving on.

When I read entries from last year, I just can’t believe how far I have come. And when I think about how desperately lonely and scared I was two years at this time (pre-blog), when I knew my marriage's demise was inevitable, it amazes me how a broken heart can heal. This blog has been instrumental in my healing process. I’m truly proud of what I have written and the exploration I have done.

But, by default, I have put Max’s privacy at risk as well as pretty much every guy I date/kiss while drunk at a bar. And if he had sex with me, he’s SO going in the blog.

Well, recently, I was shocked to find out that people who know me in real life read this blog – people who know me, but I don’t know if I know them. And furthermore, at least one of these people knows Carl, the charming 27-year-old I wrote about last week. And… yes, Carl found out what I wrote about him.

Carl knows that's me behind
the question mark.

My blog is my sanctuary, where for more than 70 entries I have boldly shared whatever I want. I couldn’t believe my worlds had collided.

After literally stopping in my tracks and yelling, “Fuck!” when I found out about my cover being blown, I bounced between feeling totally embarrassed that Carl had read what I’d written about him, and angry and exposed that people from my real life were reading this without my OK, and then maybe a touch flattered that people who know me but aren’t my friends even give a shit to read my words.

So, out of respect for his privacy, I will not be blogging about Carl. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty bummed about this. I would love to share the great dates we had over the weekend, but I cannot. I hope you, dear reader, can understand and forgive me for finally having a topic that I’m considering off limits for the foreseeable future.

Fellow bloggers – has your online life ever found you in real life? How did you handle it?