Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Where Is My Ex-Husband's Wedding Ring?

As you know, I’m on the prowl. I’ve been dating, which inevitably includes pondering the mystery of the “two great dates and he disappears” phenomenon. I’ve been doing a little making out with guys who are too young for me (I gotta stop that!). Hell, I even went on a total setup/pseudo blind date (still waiting for him to follow up properly). But, so far, nothing much to report on my dating life.

No boyfriend material means I have been admiring the goods just about everywhere I go!

The other day, I was checking out guys when I was… um, someplace and breathing. The mall? The grocery store? The library? Who knows. A single woman on the prowl must keep her eyes peeled, folks. And what do I notice first? His hands.

Since I was about 20-years-old, whenever I’m checking out guys, I always, always, always do the WBC.

WBC is Kat speak for "Wedding Band Check."


My eye automatically drifts down to any guy’s left ring finger. Then my next thought would either be “Game on (possibly!)” if his finger were vacant or “Damn. Next!” if his finger were occupied. It’s funny, even when I was married, I would find myself checking, just out of curiosity.

(For the record, I just look at his finger. I rarely actually approach the guy with the naked finger, though I’m working on my courage. And I stay far away from a guy with a ring!)

So anyway when I was scoping out some cute stranger’s hand while shopping or picking out cereal or selecting a book, a thought struck me: I bet women check out Max and his naked left hand all the time. I mean, why wouldn’t they? He’s just about six feet tall, a lean but strong build, a good head of dark hair, and an amazing smile. A handsome guy who’s not wearing a ring? He’s prime for the picking!

Whoa. Other women are looking at Max. Does he notice? Does he care? Has he dated at all? Has he kissed anyone?

What did he do with the elegant platinum wedding band that he selected five years ago?

(He was still wearing it when we met with the mediators. It was so sad. My rings had been off for weeks.)

I looked down at my naked left ring finger. Max never once asked me what I did with my engagement ring. (I sold it last year and bought myself a right hand ring.) He certainly has never asked me about dating. So I guess I’ll never know what became of his wedding band.

Do you regularly do the WBC? Do you know what your ex did with his or her wedding rings?

20 comments:

  1. My ex left his ring at my house. I just sold both his and mine the other week.

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  2. Who gets the money? Are you keeping it or splitting it?

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  3. I spent a lot of time picking out a ring for my wife, and since she appears on TV frequently I can see she no longer wears it. No idea what happened to it. It would be nice to have it back but I wouldn't keep it - I'm not sentimental enough to save it for someone else. My own ring? I took it off one day in the car and never saw it again. No great loss. I'll just buy a new one if I ever feel like going through that again.

    As for the WBC, it's definitely a girl thing. So many girls are in long-term relationships, or they wear one just to ward off creeps. It doesn't mean the same thing it used to mean.

    It's only personal, but pour moi I'm looking for a girl who has a guy's photo on her phone/Facebook. A tramp stamp or angel wings tattoo is usually a clue to her character.

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  4. I kept it, he hasn't paid child support in a loooong time.

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  5. Good for you then.

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  6. Wow, you would consider giving the ring you picked for your wife to someone else? To each their own, but I would not want that. In fact, it amazes me that there is someone in the world walking around wearing the ring that Max picked just for me.
    Why do you want a girl with guy's photo on her phone or Facebook?

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  7. Mine are sitting in a box in a drawer. I don't know why but so far I just haven't been able to figure out how I want to handle them. Yes they will go eventually - just not sure how or where. I guess I hate the idea of taking a loss (though I know I will) especially since I paid for them. As for his ring, he stopped wearing it a LONG time before the marriage ended. In fact that used to be one of our most frequent fights. And last I heard his is in a box in storage from when he had to pack and move out of our (now sold) house in less than 24 hours because he procrastinated. But Honestly, I could care less as it was such a giant issue in the relationship. I do know I will never again be with a man who won't wear his.

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  8. I would never accept a ring a guy picked for his ex. And because I got a tramp stamp a dozen years ago, that somehow says something about my character now? Judge much?

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  9. Don't rush to deal with them. You will when you're ready. Like I still can't really think about my wedding dress, but I know I will eventually.
    And I agree, any husband of mine will wear his wedding ring, if for no other reason than my knowing that there are women like me looking for it! ;)

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  10. I always did and still do the WBC mostly as an observation type thing and not necessarily due to my divorce. I do it to women, too (especially the big glitzy rings). The ex and I had an oral agreement that the rings are not to be used in a future relationship. He kept his ring and I kept mine. I don't know what he did with his ring. Maybe he'll go back on his word and use it in his 2nd marriage since he got engaged in February.
    I still have my ring and I do want to sell it but I'm a bit clueless when it comes to that sort of thing; I'm not an eBay person. Until I figure that out the ring sits in a drawer in my apartment.

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  11. Funny. I do the same now when checking out the men. And lately it struck me if men do the same with me. Actually, I attract the married men who need to be wooed over their difficult marriage. Gag me now. That habit of me being available to that nonsense is coming to an end. I must be growing up.

    For a time, I thought I may be getting back with my now ex husband. So I gave him the ring. told him to return if the time ever became right again. Looks like we are just going to be more friends. And I am okay with that. In fact, its probably for the best. So, I will ask for it back in due time and make a necklace from the stones and give to my daughter for her 16th birthday. Stays in the family, just a different way.

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  12. Sorry, that should have said looking OUT for girls with guy's photos. These days there are so many couples who go out separately, it's the only way to tell.
    As for giving the ring to someone else, no of course I wouldn't. I just can't figure out why people hold onto them. It's one of those things that symbolises your relationship, and no matter how special it was, it's now over.
    The ring I bought was an estate piece to start with, so I would rather sell it to some other couple and wish them better luck.

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  13. I kept my ring and ended up loaning it to my sister so she could keep a creeper off. Haha!

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  14. Live by SurpriseJune 2, 2014 at 7:52 PM

    Sold mine and his (long story - I ended up with his after he "lost" it). Used it to pay for a ticket to Disney with the family.

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  15. Ha, money well spent then!

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  16. Now that is clever. ;)

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  17. I keep attracting young guys. I have to stop going out with them because it keeps not going anyplace!
    Yes, sometimes you are not meant to be romantic partners, only friends. I hope you can be friends, especially since you have a daughter. And what a nice way to use the stones.

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  18. I couldn't imagine using any of our rings with anyone else!
    Try going to a few jewelers and see what they'll offer for your ring. I found a pretty wide variety of offers.

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  19. I threw his in the trash after he left it in my nightstand, on top of one if out wedding pics, the day he moved.

    Mine? No idea. We had taken it in for repair a couple weeks prior and I never followed up on it.

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  20. Very symbolic to throw his in the trash!
    I wish you had yours though -- to sell it!

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