Monday, August 11, 2014

Why Did I Have Sex?

Me. Me. ME!!!!!!!!!!
My pal Yoshi openly stalks my Twitter account and is an avid reader of this blog. So when I was tacky enough to tweet Thursday morning that I’d had sex, I knew Yoshi would want the pre-blog scoop.

Friday night, he had cooked dinner for me and our other friend Summer. Summer is a mom, so after we’d polished of a bottle and a half of wine and the clock struck 10, it was time for her to take off. I knew what was coming: wine and sex talk!

Yoshi poured more wine for both of us and without missing a beat, he said:

“So, Kat. You had sex.”

“I sure did!” I took a swig of wine and smiled at my friend. 

This was not enough of a response for Yoshi. I just liked messing with him.

“With Steve?” he probed, slightly irritated that I wasn't dishing the gossip.

“Yup,” I replied. Then, it was quiet for moment.

“Why?” he asked simply.

Dammit, Yoshi, I wasn’t expecting that question. I don't know if anyone has ever asked me why I had sex!

I thought about it.

Wednesday night, I had gone to Steve’s apartment. I showed up in my finest Mickey Mouse t-shirt and yoga pants. Steve was wearing an FDNY t-shirt and mesh shorts. Yup, we totally dress to impress.

The plan was to just hang out and watch Sharknado (it amuses him that I don't have cable so he recorded it for me). But it was a beautiful night, so we sat outside on his balcony and just talked. About writing. About our professional dreams and disappointments. About porn. About family. Even a little about dating. (Yes, he knows I'm dating other people.) We hardly touched each other as we spoke, I think because we were really listening to each other. Meanwhile, his absolutely adorable dog circled our feet, hopeful for attention. I freaking love that dog.

I was so... comfortable. This guy really respects my mind (and he tells me that I’m hot, so bonus points for him). In that moment on the patio, I looked at Steve and had a flash of “this guy totally feels like my boyfriend.”

And then I looked at his cigarettes. Ewww.
I heard him say he’s “exhausted.” I hate that word and he uses it a lot. Seriously, unless you have an infant or work manual labor, you’re not exhausted. You’re just not. 
I remembered how rarely we see each other outside of our apartment building – that's right folks, we haven’t really gone on a proper date after two months of talking, texting, and hanging out!

Uh, yeah, newsflash, Kat: Steve is, rather unfortunately, unlikely to be my boyfriend.

But… shit, you guys. He’s cute, he's smart, he thinks I'm hot, and he’s a damn good hookup. Oh, the temptation.

He asked me to sleep there. I agreed. Even though I still get weirded out by sleepovers, I felt so good sleeping beside him. It felt right.

We fooled around a little that night, and he actually said at one point, "I wonder what the angel and devil on your shoulders are saying right now." Creepy, right?! (My answer was that both were telling me to have fun!)

And in the morning, we had sex. 

And I was right! We had hot sex!  Hot morning sex!
How the hell was I ever in a sexless relationship? SEX IS AWESOME.
And yes, we used a condom, duh.

(By the way, for all I love to talk and write about sex, I hadn’t had sex in awhile! My last new sexual partner was Aaron back in February, and otherwise I’d only had Incredible Sex with Jason a few times in late May and early June. I was kind of due to get laid, right?!)

I left Steve’s place with morning breath and that stupid "I GOT LAID" smile plastered across my face. No weird emotional stuff. It was fun, I like him as a person, but it felt oddly uncomplicated.

So, back to Yoshi’s question. Why did I have sex with Steve?

“Because I felt like it and I wanted to.”

Sometimes that’s really all there is to it.

Your turn, dear reader. Think about the last time that you had sex. Why did you do it?

Epic Mommy Adventures


  1. LOL Kat. Good for you!

  2. It sure is. As you can probably guess, I very, very rarely had morning sex with my ex-husband.

  3. And now I want more!!

  4. OMG! Too funny to hit your page and see the shit eating grin on the dog!
    And go Yoshi! And Kudos to Steve for being over 40, wearing a condom and being able to get it up in the AM! Hell, as long as we are sharing details, I'd thought I would just go over top. And given the 'exhausted' factor and the cigarrettes, even more impressive. Of course he doesn't have a kid though...
    Anywhoo - last time was 2/2/14. That was the last time I saw my girlfriend. Do I need reason? She was my girlfriend and she was hot and when you are a single Dad and you don't have your kiddo on a weekend night, it is time to get Kah ray see!

  5. Yes, Yoshi is my nosy, no bullshit friend and I love him for it.
    Steve would probably have been just as happy to skip the condom but NO WAY JOSE.
    Are you still with that girlfriend? If so... why so long since the last romp??
    Thanks for reading Mike, I always love getting your male perspective. :)

  6. Oh, absolutely, no way JOSE!
    No, we split up and that is why I haven't romped. Been avoiding any connections as I have had other things going on in my life. That is until recently. I have someone chasing me and I'm not running as fast as I used to as she has been a good friend.

  7. Ah, losing the post-marriage virginity. I remember it well. ;)
    I'll read your post. Thank you for stopping by my blog!

  8. Last night.
    With a guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks and was adamant would not be serious and we would both see other people.
    But, last night we both confessed, that yes we really like each other and don't want to see other people right now...
    And yes, it was incredibly hot and amazing! Yes Kat, I agree sex is awesome!

  9. Hey, a girl has gotta eat, right?

  10. Yes. And I was hungry.

  11. Ohhh that sounds like a good romp.

  12. I was also in a sexless marriage and I have sex because I spent enough of my life not having sex.

  13. The last time I had sex was a week ago, and I did it because I really wanted to, and because he was leaving me for 6 months...or maybe forever..The sex was awesome tho!

  14. Well... at least it was a good (maybe final) romp?!