tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post2175421305002957536..comments2023-07-04T09:58:32.905-04:00Comments on My Tales of Life and Love After Divorce: I Had Lunch with My Ex-Husband's Family. It Made Me Happy.Divorced Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01740271601866523220noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-162873331468984742014-06-24T15:31:38.855-04:002014-06-24T15:31:38.855-04:00Just the sheer amount of time I was married simply...Just the sheer amount of time I was married simply adds more layers. But in the end, it's really about connection and the loss of that. Truth be told, it was a good marriage for the first 11 years. After that, it just wasn't. So, it's not about number of years, it's about connection and about the loss of a love and all it's branches that have taken root into your own life. My best to you, too!Karen Alaniznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-35931367807166286772014-06-24T08:42:41.623-04:002014-06-24T08:42:41.623-04:00Karen, I give you so much credit. Two years, I fel...Karen, I give you so much credit. Two years, I felt like I was broken. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. And I often thought, "My god, I feel this horrible after only eight years with Max. How the hell do people married for decades go on?!" But we do what we have to, right? All the best to you!Divorced Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-39398089221774943392014-06-23T15:47:09.272-04:002014-06-23T15:47:09.272-04:00Sounds similar to me. While I miss my in-laws, it&...Sounds similar to me. While I miss my in-laws, it's just as well that they are 3+ hour drive away from me so visits will have to be infrequent.Divorced Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-45342431886767455442014-06-23T15:45:48.837-04:002014-06-23T15:45:48.837-04:00Yes, if my situation had involved cheating or dish...Yes, if my situation had involved cheating or dishonesty, things would look quite different today.Divorced Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-13665699423452806982014-06-23T15:45:02.600-04:002014-06-23T15:45:02.600-04:00I agree, Amber!I agree, Amber!Divorced Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-52795785627236972622014-06-21T22:00:50.672-04:002014-06-21T22:00:50.672-04:00That's awesome that you still get along with t...That's awesome that you still get along with them!Amberhttp://whisperingwriter.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-84319028145802117132014-06-20T18:39:12.175-04:002014-06-20T18:39:12.175-04:00I'm very lucky that my ex-in-laws made it clea...I'm very lucky that my ex-in-laws made it clear when my ex left that they would always love me and be in my life - they are also still upset that their son ended our marriage. I don't see them often because they live a long way away, but I did see them once a couple of months ago which was lovely, but very bitter sweet.<br />They had removed all photos of us together from shelves, and even of their other happily married son and his wife - it was just too painful for them to look at.Leonie Brownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-83263000987866842372014-06-19T23:35:11.796-04:002014-06-19T23:35:11.796-04:00Friendly? It's possible; we don't NOT tal...Friendly? It's possible; we don't NOT talk but I don't necessarily pursue conversation with his parents or brother. Had my ex-husband not cheated on me and if he wasn't already engaged to the other woman then things might be different.Anna Dollnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-62874855714798466812014-06-19T13:32:23.957-04:002014-06-19T13:32:23.957-04:00I'm sorry both of you lost your former in-law ...I'm sorry both of you lost your former in-law families. That just compounds the loss of the marriage.<br />I know, I'm very fortunate. I'm not in touch with Max or his family often, but just enough to maintain the relationship. So, I feel it's healthy because there is plenty of space.Divorced Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-55670260369565187732014-06-19T13:21:26.521-04:002014-06-19T13:21:26.521-04:00I'm a little jealous too. His family, with th...I'm a little jealous too. His family, with the exception of his sister, treated me reasonably well when we were together. (His sister has issues with other women in general). After the divorce, the lines were drawn. I don't miss any of them - except my nieces. I wonder how they're growing up. <br /><br />But I have a fantastic new family now. So I can't complain.Live by Surprisenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1883263011548393946.post-85483158244469135372014-06-19T10:37:22.941-04:002014-06-19T10:37:22.941-04:00Kat - Haven't commented here in a while. Hope...Kat - Haven't commented here in a while. Hope you're doing well - it certainly seems like you are. You tugged at my heartstrings with this one. No, I'm not close with my ex's family. I never even got to say goodbye. I know your goodbye was heartbreaking, but imagine if you didn't even get that chance. I loved my ex's family very much. But they took his side with gusto, and to them, I'm the woman who ran out on him and nearly ruined his life. Nothing could be further from the truth, of course, but that's how they see it. They even said bad things about me around town, which I got wind of because I'm also from there. I don't have any plans to move back, so I don't mind that much, but, it still hurts. I've also made sure that my family doesn't say anything negative about him. It's just not how things should be. <br /><br />I'm really envious of your situation. It makes me really sad that I'll never get to see my former niece get bigger and play with the American Girl doll I lovingly picked out for her when she was a toddler. I'll never get to know her siblings, or see their family thrive. It breaks my heart still. I've made peace with it, but I wish things were different. I've tried repeatedly to have a cordial relationship with my ex, but he's just not interested. He's also got a new girl, and I am sure they will get engaged soon. The most upsetting thing about his refusal to try and be cordial with me is the fact that when we were together, he forced me to accept his friendships with ex girlfriends. One of them was even at our wedding. But now, that I'm the ex, it's somehow different. I don't get the same kind of respect and friendship. <br /><br />I say all of this so that you know how lucky you are to have the relationships you have. Enjoy them, especially for those of us that can't. <br /><br />xoxo<br />Mustang SallyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com